08 July 2017

do telefone

Todos sabem o quanto me dou bem com o meu telefone. Essa quase extensão do meu corpo. E muitos perguntam porque raio ando sempre com ele e agarrada a ele mas não falo. Já tentei explicar que o meu telemovel servirá para tudo muito mais do que para falar. E que mais do que não gostar de falar ao telefone, não tenho na maioria das vezes oportunidade de o fazer naquele momento em que me ligam e vos despacho... E hoje o texto abaixo descreveu tão esta minha cena... assim, inspirado em motherly aqui vai a minha versão:

I can’t pick up your phone call. Just text me. Ya feel me?
(...)  I’ll tell you:

1. It is loud around me ALL THE TIME.
Even during car rides, when all the kids are restrained. There are questions, requests, spills and fights. I can barely hear myself think, let alone form a sentence. I’ll text you. During nap time.

2. I’m not going to remember what we talk about.This is why when our banker or realtor or accountant asks if they can call me back, I simply say, “Email is best for me. Can you email me instead?” I used to offer an explanation, but now I just don’t. And they email and then I save brain cells.

3. We will be interrupted every 30 seconds.It’s not that my kids aren’t self-sufficient. In fact, for your information, they are actually quite independent for their ages but they need a lot of assistance. Thus, phone convos with me will suck.

4. When I am alone, I don’t want to talk.
There is so much talking around me all day long. I explain. I teach. I correct. I encourage. And, I answer impossible questions, like “Is there grass in heaven?”
And so, in the rare (very rare) moments that I’m alone, I’m not going to be talking. I’m going to bathing in the luxurious, decadent, rich sound of nothingness. Silence. Quiet. Peace. (Either that or binge on Real Housewives. Either way, please text me.)

This is why I can’t call you. Even though In addition to my job outside I still have all the wiping butts, making dinner and shaping lives. I’m just a working mom who savors silence and whose short-term memory is shoddy at best.

You’re right, I don’t have a 9-to-5 job, and I’m not the President.
I do have a job, a very demanding and sometimes stressing one. Simple yet intense and surprises happen all the time.  I deal with hundreds of people (😱), i work in HR, believe when i say or feel i do enough talking (phone or not) from 9 to 5.

But I am the boss (driver, therapist, cook, playmate, teacher, etc) of of 3 young kids who need a lot of assistance, and I happen to be the appointed official tasked with keeping them alive.

If you want to call me The Queen, that’s fine! But just do it through text.

And I’ll send a heart-eyed emoji back at ‘cha. 😍

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